A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

whos the bitch now!?! you are.

Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

A man walks into a bar Ouch!

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

Canada AYY

Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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