What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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#Hanging Degus

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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what happened to the drug addict? he go high

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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