roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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what is a chicken answer: chicken

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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What's funnier than 68 69

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Justin's hair

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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Neither have I

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops