Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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THE GAME.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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