What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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It smells like triangles in here.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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what time is it? 3:16

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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c:

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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