Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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<=3 penis

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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