Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops