A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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The government

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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