You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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