Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Do you like your life? No. OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

GADZOOKS!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops