Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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you and your family will die tonight

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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lipstick pig

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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