What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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