How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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hi

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Hi

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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