shauns beautiful

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops