Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops