what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down +5

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops