Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

Knock, knock. Come in.

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

Gingers.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

rosie o'donald goes on a diet

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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