What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

69

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

you and your family will die tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This is my first attempt at making an anti-joke: That's was it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops