What time is it? Refrigerator

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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