- Anti Joke

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

Samraj.

What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

AIDS

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

7

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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