Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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