What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops