Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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Justin's hair

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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