You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops