whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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