Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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WNBA

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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GADZOOKS!

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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