What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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