What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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