A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

josh roberts got the d in geog

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

hahahahaha thats not funny

What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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