Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Misner is a twat.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops