a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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potatoes

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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