On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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what is a chicken answer: chicken

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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