Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Mark Wilson

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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This is not a joke.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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penis haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops