What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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This is not a joke

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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