A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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try slamming a revolving door

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops