Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Womens Rights

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Donald Trump.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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