What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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Jews

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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