Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Xzibit

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops