Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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