What's big and messy? A big mess

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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im black

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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