Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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TOBUSCUS

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops