who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chinese drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops