Religion.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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a potato flew around my room

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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