What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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