Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Cheese stick

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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