A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

Wanna hear a joke? Justin bieber

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water omg water whew, i was thirsty!

E= McVagina

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...