Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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a horse walks into a blender ow

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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yes... that's the joke

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Politics

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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i dont like chris

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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