What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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