Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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im @ work, LOL.

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IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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Snooki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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