What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Black People

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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