I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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u jelly?

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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