What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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