What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Dont look at me.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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I'm hungry.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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