Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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