I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Society.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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I'm hungry.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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