Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

haha. i got blocked too!!!!

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

How many people live in China? At least ten.

Wanna see some more?

if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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